Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Sat May 12, 2007 at 09:57:20 pm EDT
Subject
Revenge is Dish best served Corporate style! Part 1
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Wally-World Parking Sector 25-Alpha, sponsored by Huggies Ultra.
Wednesday Morning.

After getting a distressing phone call from an acquaintance of hers', Catherine Gillespie made her way to this place. After finally finding a spot to park & before stepping out of her car, She put her Messenger bag on. She wasn't sure if she'd need it's contents or not. She gets out, locks her car & starts the trek across the blacktop, she can just barely make out the store in the distance.

A hour later, Catherine has made it to the outer doors of the half dark Navy Blue & half light Grey shopping complex (the 2 colors were separated by a thin red line). Before she entered, she saw a bright yellow banner with red text on it hanging from the roof over the side of the building, it read: UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT!

After walking through the various automatic sliding doors, She is now in the main store. Not two steps in is she stopped by someone.

"Hello there, young person." The person said, most likely Male, with a hardy wave.

They were dressed in a pair black slacks, black patten leather shoes, a white long sleeve button down shirt, white Mickey Mouse like gloves, a red bowtie & blue vest. The vest on the right side read these word in yellow text: Got a Question? Ask Me! On left was their name tag, their name was apparently "Charles". The only disconcerting thing about "Charles" was that he was also wearing the Wally-World mascot on his head, a round somewhat off putting foam neon yellow smiley face. It looked too happy, which was giving Catherine a somewhat demonic vibe.

"Welcome to Wally-World, a place for all your conglomerate needs!" He said like he'd practiced that line way to much.

"Would you like a flyer of today's in-store specials?" He said as he waved a small packet of paper in front of Catherine's face, which had a look of slight disgust on it.

"Uh... Sure." She said & then in her mind said "If it'll make you go away."

He handed her the flyers & then walked back to his post by the door. Catherine shoved the flyers into her bag & began to wander the store.

"Now if I was going to hold someone hostage in the store, where would I do that?" She wondered out loud to no one but herself.

Now at the intersection of aisles 15 A, 26 G, 34 X & 1 C, Catherine found herself near the Music department & decided to check it out. She began to look over the various instrument on display. She found your normal everyday stuff: Guitars (Both Electric & Acoustic), Drum Sets, Violins, Cellos, pretty much everything a High School Band or Orchestra would need. One instrument caught her interest: an Accordion! She walked over to it. It's tag said it was used & on sale. She picked it up, it was a bit heavy but that was expected. She began to play around on it. She noticed that few of the keys & buttons stuck a bit. She'd used an Accordion much like that before, it was when she played Chad's Accordion. She also thought it's keys & buttons stuck in very much the same way, too.

Catherine stopped playing & began to looking for some marking denoting ownership. There was one! On the bottom was a partially ripped off sticker. The first 2 letters were there: a C & an H. The third letter was half there & looked to be an A. The rest of the letters were missing. Catherine let out an audible gasp: Wally-World was trying to sell Chad's Accordion at well below it's market price!

Just then she was joined by a Wally-World employee. They were dressed like "Charles" but sans foam head & white gloves.

"Can I help you?"

"Uh.. No." Catherine said as put the stolen Accordion back on the shelf.

"All right. If you do need anything, I'll just be over there." The Employee said & pointed to a small kiosk.

"ok." Catherine said. Once the employee had left, Catherine did to. She left to another section, this time over to the Pet department.

Fifteen Twenty Minutes later, Catherine was searching over various cages looking for one such animal.

"Can I Help you find something?" The Wally-World employee asked as they leaned on a nearby carpeted Cat scratching post. They were dressed in the typical uniform, their bright blond hair was expertly quaffed. He smiled a cheesy grin. He must thought he was God's gift to Female potential Pet Owners.

"Yes. Yes, you can."

"All right, what can the Natester do for you today?" He said cheesily. Catherine resisted the urge to groan & roll her eyes. It was hard but she did it.

"I'm looking for Hamsters." Catherine said with an equally cheesey & fake grin.

Nate thought for a moment & then said. "Your in luck! We just got a new Hamster in today."

"Imagine that!" Catherine said was a hint of sarcasm to her voice.

The two of them went over to a cage a few feet away.

"This little guy is a bit over weight for his size, we think that because of the past owners' relaxed feeding practices. It seemed to be only eating junk food. Due to that It's been marked down in price. Now just for you I might be able to throw in a free water bottle."

"Golly gee, really?" Catherine said phonily. Nate shook his head yes rather proud of himself.

Catherine peered into the glass enclosed cage, the hamster in question was laying in the far corner, facing away from her. Catherine knew you normal wouldn't do this but she need the animal's attention, so she tapped on the glass a few times. This caused the Hamster to move, it looked over at her. Then it's tiny little eyes got big & the hamster scurried over to her. Once at the glass, it pressed it's self up against the glass. It almost looked happy to see her.

"It likes you." Nate said with a chuckle.

"Yeah. It's almost like he'd seen me before." Catherine said cryptically.

"Sure." Nate said. "So, do you want to buy it?"

"No. Not now, maybe later." She said & turned away from the cage.

If you listened closely, it almost sounded like you could hear a tiny cry of pain.

Catherine continued on with her search, she had found signs of Chad & Ronnie being here. But, still no Chad & Ronnie. Or even Jane.

Catherine continues to wander. She began to notice something, every time she walked by one of the store's Security Cameras: they seemed to follow her. Now she may just be paranoid but maybe not because she noticed when she stepped in front of a camera, then moved just to the left. The Camera there goes left, if she goes right so does the camera.

She does this little dance for a minutes until an announcement was made. "Good Morning, Wally-World Employees. Red Light Special in Footwear. Red Light Special in Footwear. Thank you."

Catherine noticed she just happened to be next to the Footwear section of the store. Shortly their after Catherine's location was being swarmed by the Wally-World Employees'. She knocks down the first wave to the left & the right with a near by shopping carts. The Mob stopped for a moment while she assumes a Kung Fu like stance, but continue to move in once they know she doesn't know Kung Fu.

So, she starts in on Plan B. She takes over her bag & began to swing it around. It gives her a bit of distance between her & the employees' but that doesn't last long when a small band of employees' show up with shotguns. Catherine's not sure if they are loaded & does really want to find out if they are so she stops swinging, drops the bag & puts her hands up.

"Good Girl." One says & motions her to move.

Most of the employees' disperse but a small contingent remain to escort Catherine somewhere.

When some customers tries to approach them, they are deflected an employee & by the promise of a discount on a product in an aisle far away. 98% of the time the customer leaves.

Down a long aisle, they walk through a set of black plastic double doors, they are now in a darkened Storage area. They walk down aisles & aisles of product until they reach a small open space. There are four chairs, three of them occupied. Catherine recognizes the group. Chad & Jane looked fine, Ronnie was a little worse for wear. His face was a bit bruised & he was bleeding a bit.

"Sit down." One said as they push Catherine down on to a seat, another tied up her hands & feet to chair. Another drops Catherine's bag near by.

From above, Catherine can just make out someone standing in the darkness on a catwalk. Next something odd happens, The Employees' all line up. One steps forward. "Store Manager, sir." He says & the whole group salutes a very militaristic salute.

The one who stepped forward says "This is one of your loyal Sales Leaders, the element has been removed from the floor & secured."

"Element?" Catherine said.

"Yes. They consider all customers elements, we're apparently bad ones." Jane said.

Catherine was looking over Ronnie as Jane talked, Ronnie drooled mix of blood & saliva. Once he noticed she was looking at him, he gave a weak smile. She gave one back.

"Excellent." The Store Manager said. "Now leave us."

The Employees' all left the room. A few minutes later, The Store Manager came down from his post. Catherine found his manner of dress a bit odd. Sure, he was wearing the typical Wally-World uniform but it also looked to have elements of Dr. Doom's normal get up to it. The Store Manager wore a blue cape over everything & the cape had a hood. Under the hood was a metallic mask that covered most of his face. On his hands, he wore hi-tech looking gauntlets.

"Let's Continue where we left off from!" The Store Manager said with an evil smile.

---------------

TO BE CONTINUED!



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